Monthly Archives: September 2026

Personal

We stole kisses between the waves and held each other close for warmth. It was too dark to really see you, even when you were only inches away from me. I could barely make out the silhouette of your face against the night, and somehow, not being able to see you made me feel you even more. Your hand finding mine beneath the water, your body pressed against mine for warmth, your lips finding me in the dark. The sea carrying us while an entire universe stretched endlessly above our heads.

There was something almost unreal about it. Just the two of us floating beneath a sky overflowing with stars, holding on to each other in the middle of something so vast. The ocean beneath us, the universe above us, and somehow, in all that endlessness, nothing felt more significant than the person whose hand I was holding.

I don’t think I have ever felt closer to another human being than I did in that moment. There was something so beautiful, exhilarating and impossibly intimate about floating beneath an endless sky with your hand in mine. The kind of moment you wish you could preserve exactly as it was, untouched by time, so you could return to it whenever the world became a little less beautiful.

And somewhere between the stars above us, the sea beneath us, and your arms around me, I thought about how strange it is that a person can begin to feel like a place.

You really are my haven.

And I’m so glad you led me here.

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Personal

Because I believe so deeply that what’s meant to be will always find its way to you, maybe I’ve never really fought hard enough for anyone or anything.

Because why must you fight for something that’s meant for you?

Or maybe the few times I did fight for someone or something, only for it not to work out, the heartbreak was so unbearable that somewhere along the way, I decided I could never put myself through that again. Maybe it became easier to believe that the things meant for me would stay, and the things that left simply weren’t mine to keep.

And that’s exactly how I see this. I don’t know where it’s going, or what it will eventually become, but somehow, you make even the uncertainty of it beautiful. With every touch, every look, every little gesture, you make me feel how deeply you feel for me. There are things you never have to say because I see them in your eyes and feel them in the way you hold me. And so, even though there is something heartbreakingly uncertain about us, being loved by you makes all of it feel strangely whole. It makes whatever this is, however long I get to have it, feel entirely worthwhile.

I’ve had relationships with far more certainty and commitment, and yet no one has ever come close to loving me the way you do. It’s the kind of love I spent so much of my life dreaming about but never quite believed existed until I found it in you. You’ve somehow made my solitude dull, when being alone was something I once genuinely enjoyed. You’ve made your absence feel lonely, when I used to think my own company was more than enough. Now, every moment spent away from you feels like it’s missing something. Like there is a version of life before you, and then there is this one, where everything feels a little fuller simply because you exist in it. I’ve found love in you. I’ve found hope in you. And somewhere along the way, I think I found my whole world in your arms.

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Personal

This is one of those times life has surprised me so pleasantly that I’m in absolute awe of it. You meet one shitty guy after another, the ones who say all the right things but somehow manage to do all the wrong things, and eventually, it’s bound to take a toll on you. You begin to wonder if perhaps the things you dream about simply don’t exist. Maybe those connections you’ve spent your whole life believing in were inspired by too many books, too many stories, too much of a hopeless romantic heart. Maybe they belong in fiction and not in real life. And so, eventually, you stop looking for them. Maybe it’s time to get real. You stop letting your hopeless romantic heart drive the car and, for once, you put logic first.

And that’s when I met him. When I wasn’t really looking for any of it. Meeting him was one thing, feeling that connection with him was another, but I still wasn’t convinced. It was just another good time, one that surely wasn’t going to outlive the next sunny day.

Except it did. Shockingly.

And every day after that, he kept showing up. Without missing a single day since we met, he kept showing up until somewhere along the way, it became a habit. Months passed and nothing changed, except that we grew closer. I knew how foolish it would be to expect anything, so I didn’t. I was simply enjoying this temporary happiness that I was certain would eventually flee. But then came one gesture after another, each somehow surpassing the last, some beyond even my wildest dreams. And here was a man choosing me so completely in every moment he could, making me feel seen, heard and loved without ever having to say too much, simply by doing all the right things. It felt a little like culture shock because, for perhaps the first time in my life, I was experiencing the kind of love I had always dreamt of. The kind I had eventually convinced myself didn’t exist. And now, much to my surprise, I have to acknowledge that it does.

Whatever happens tomorrow, I know that right now, this is the most seen and cared for I have ever felt. There is something incredibly beautiful about genuinely feeling adored by someone. Not having to search for it between the lines or convince yourself that it’s there, but simply knowing because of the way they treat you. And I didn’t think that was possible for me. I didn’t think I was the kind of girl someone would cross oceans for, the kind someone would go out of their way for just to see her smile, the kind someone could make feel so undeniably special.

And maybe that’s the most surprising part of all of this. For once, I’m not wondering what he sees in me. I’m not questioning why me, or waiting for him to realise that perhaps I’m not as special as he thinks I am. Because somehow, through the way he loves me, I finally feel like THAT girl. And he makes me feel THAT way.

Maybe the world is healing.

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Personal

He’s loved me more than anyone has ever loved me in my whole life, and maybe that’s precisely why it makes me so sad.

Part of it is that somewhere inside me, I still don’t feel like I deserve it. I often fail to understand why he would feel this way about me, why he would choose to be this patient with me, this gentle, this caring. And sometimes, when I can’t make sense of it, I find myself wondering if perhaps this is simply who he is. Maybe he loves everyone this way. Maybe there is nothing particularly special about me at all. Maybe I’m taking something that comes naturally to him and making it mean more because I’ve never experienced it before.

But then there are all the ways he has loved me that feel impossible to dismiss. He has loved me through my mood swings, through the difficult moments, through versions of me I struggle to love myself. He has been patient when I expected frustration, gentle when I expected distance, and present when some part of me was already preparing to be left alone. And through all of it, he has made me feel more loved than anyone ever has in my entire life.

The strange thing is, he has never actually told me he loves me. At least not in those words, not in that way. And yet, this is the most loved I have ever felt.

Maybe that’s what makes it so damn sad. To finally experience the kind of love I spent my whole life wondering about, to finally know what it feels like to be cared for so deeply that I don’t have to question whether it is there, and still not know what I get to do with all of it. To have something feel so much like love without ever being able to call it mine.

Maybe some of the greatest love we experience in our lives doesn’t arrive with the certainty we thought love was supposed to have. Maybe sometimes it simply arrives, holds your hand, loves you in every way that matters, and leaves you wondering how something that makes you this happy can also make you this sad.

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Personal

“Making you happy makes me happy.”

He says it while holding my hand, and it is such a wonderful thing to hear. Not simply because someone said it, but because for once, I know he means it. I feel it in the way he holds my hand, in the way he looks at me, and in all the little things he does without ever needing to be asked. Being with him feels like being in his haven, like I’m somewhere I am wanted, cared for, and adored, and it is so unimaginably wonderful.

Because I had never met a man who treated me like this. And after a while, I had started to believe perhaps I never would. Maybe the kind of love I had spent my life dreaming about asked for too much. Maybe the bar I had set existed only in my imagination, and eventually I would have to accept that real life simply didn’t work that way.

And then I met him.

And somehow, he has undone so much of what life had taught me until then. Things I thought I had to accept, things I thought I had to settle for, things I had convinced myself simply did not exist. He heals parts of me without even knowing they needed healing, simply by loving me in ways I never imagined I would get to experience.

I could write endlessly about how good and wonderful a man he is, about all the little ways he makes me feel loved, and I still don’t think I could quite capture what it feels like to be on the receiving end of it.

Sometimes I look at my life with him in it and think, I’m living a dream.

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