That’s all I’m trying to do these days. I wouldn’t seek closure in your forgiveness but rather my own. Self pitied by nature I find it hard to move on from things I decided to let go. Sorry is all I have and Sorry is all I say. For I followed my heart after great consideration yet here I am, bound with guilt, not knowing what I could’ve done right. Pointless is what it is. Whats done is done, we are here now. Let’s move on and not hate.

Maybe I need to step back to see the whole picture. Breathe away from chaos. To remain tangled or untangle myself from something I don’t want to detach from, how do I stop myself from falling into something so natural.

Karma, karma catches on. Is it worth it though?

Hurting yourself to not hurt someone else, how is that any good. Hurting someone to find your own happiness, how is that anything but selfish? How can you predict life, how can you promise someone tomorrow when we don’t know half of what tomorrow will unfold.

And if one day you wont love me like I do, I would understand. If one day you call me up to say; hey, it’s not working out. I’ll say okay. And I’ll heal all over again.

I feel like there are things I should’ve listened to more closely, how everything you said would’ve made me realize how wrong I am. But the need to believe in what I want for it to pursue something great lead me on. I hope I’m not too wrong to hope, I hope I’m not too wrong to stay. I hope the words you whisper into the night would hold its meaning till day light and after. It’s not wrong to want this, but I might be wrong after all.

When someone’s not ready to love you the way you’d want, give them time. Give them time to understand you, to see you beneath your texture of emotions. When they don’t love you like you love them, maybe they don’t know love like you do.

Don’t be like that. Don’t be the girl that drives away good things due to your own insecurities. Don’t be the girl who possesses over people due to your own fear or losing them. Don’t doubt something so great because nothing ever is certain. Learn to believe in the good more, and more will come.

There are times you often get carried away by your choices failing to realize where lines should be drawn and boundaries defined. Trusting people with your heart, trusting them with your mind and body when you don’t even know what they could do. Even the sweetest most genuine people may cause you pain, when you’ve unknowingly given them pieces of yourself.

It’s not the past, it’s what the past makes off you, that’s what you have to live with.

I no longer know what I’m doing or where I’m going in life. Mislead routines and I’m exhausted. I don’t feel young nor old, yet life is passing by and it’s going to be only what I only make of it now. Falling in and out love. Exploring endless possibilities, all to be doomed.