When someone’s not ready to love you the way you’d want, give them time. Give them time to understand you, to see you beneath your texture of emotions. When they don’t love you like you love them, maybe they don’t know love like you do.

Don’t be like that. Don’t be the girl that drives away good things due to your own insecurities. Don’t be the girl who possesses over people due to your own fear or losing them. Don’t doubt something so great because nothing ever is certain. Learn to believe in the good more, and more will come.

There are times you often get carried away by your choices failing to realize where lines should be drawn and boundaries defined. Trusting people with your heart, trusting them with your mind and body when you don’t even know what they could do. Even the sweetest most genuine people may cause you pain, when you’ve unknowingly given them pieces of yourself.

It’s not the past, it’s what the past makes off you, that’s what you have to live with.

I no longer know what I’m doing or where I’m going in life. Mislead routines and I’m exhausted. I don’t feel young nor old, yet life is passing by and it’s going to be only what I only make of it now. Falling in and out love. Exploring endless possibilities, all to be doomed.

Confused and unhappy. I hate my life.

I have no right to complain about my life. I made it the way it is. I could delete this blog and you wouldn’t even imagine the troubles that would vanish with that one thing. I have already changed so much, the girl who absolutely loved independence, celebrated her life everyday by doing whatever she wanted, is no longer free. And so this blog is the one thing, where I can ramble on freely, well not as freely as I want to, but freely enough to never hurt anyone. It’s all about being trapped in one body, all these different versions of you. And being unable to be everything you could be and want to be. Some choices you make limit your chance of free spirit. How wonderful is it to be a bird, I for one thought I’d never be pinned down. And it has disappointed me the most. What the hell am I doing here, I don’t belong here..

If I really am all those things you say, someone who abuses you mentally, demotivates you, calls you stupid, keeps reminding you how stupid you’re every chance I got, why are we still together? Why are you with me? Who’s stopping you from leaving? Why are you with this horrible woman who’s absolutely no good to you? Do you not value yourself but at all?

I never asked you to stay out of spite. In fact, I never stopped you from leaving. Do me a favor and leave. I’m not gonna sit by and watch you make decisions for me, I’m not gonna sit by and listen to you describe me as someone who’s not only selfish, but mean and monstrous.

Let go of the monster of a woman you call the love of your life.

My stubborn heart fails to forget.

How I loved you so.

You left my life, but not my heart.

I am trapped between the life I want to live and the life I am living, the life I want to live revolves around you, with you. How could this be. After all this time how could I still be here. Maybe, in a parallel universe, we made it work.

Life is shitting on me, again. Maybe I asked for this. Maybe things have been going too smoothly for the past year or so, and I couldn’t be more thankful.