I can’t be less me, for you to love me.

Love me fully, in whole. Not in bits and pieces of what I could be. Love me for who I am, as I am. Not for what’s possible.

I am not a project in progress, consider me complete.

If not, I can’t.

People change, evolve and grow. But I’m not growing anymore today. Maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day, but maybe never too.

What if I don’t grow, will you love me despite?

I was right, I am too much for anyone. 

To be okay enough, I’ve gotta be less of myself. No matter how unfair, this society will never accept me, let alone my man, as I am.

I’m afraid if you don’t stay with me tonight, I may take my own life. It’s crucial that you stay.

I’m in love with you, desperately and hopelessly. Beyond reason, beyond sanity, I am completely yours; every ounce of me, till the last drop.

A part of me refuses to breath without you at sight. This feels like a growing obsession, a cry for possession. You have immense power over me.

I see how half-hearted your love is, I see it and I weep.

Ever shattered yourself beside someone while they lay inches from you and you couldn’t explain why? The subtle hints that you read too much into, the little things that had made you want to come back were no longer there. You expect a person to change, to customize themselves as you please but in the end you don’t always get everything you want in a person. With changes you lose some of the most desired qualities. Once you lose a person it’s never the exact same person who comes back. And you wonder if you’d done the right thing? You wonder what if they no longer feel the same but are so used to the idea of wanting you they haven’t realized it yet. Only time will tell.

Dwelling in nostalgia from a time my body felt younger and heart; less heavier.

I can’t sleep in my bed anymore, the sheets smell of you.

Is it true, am I nothing more than a muse?

A stopover right before you head home to your rightful one.

Had I let you hug me a little longer I’d have broken down and I couldn’t allow my tears to fall on you. So careful in blinking away tears keeping my head down ‘cuz had I looked up you’d see my eyes were filling in and I couldn’t let you see me in tears now could I?

To feel like trash in a world I’ve just begun to feel beautiful.

It’s okay.

I wish I could explain my troubles to you.

But how do I explain something I don’t understand myself.

Fall in love with this complexity of mine and lose your mind.

You did nothing wrong.

I craved, I caved.

I wish I could be there for you, help you, even try to fix you if that is possible. I would. I really would have done anything for you.

Always in the wrong arms when I wanna pour my heart out, always in the wrong arms when I wanna be held a little more.

Why don’t somethings go away, vanish entirely. I’ve made peace with the tragedy and yet waves keep crashing me back.

I don’t know how to feel any less and I’m afraid to feel any more. Would you help me figure out what could be. Your shoulders don’t deserve my tears as you aren’t responsible for those.

I’m trying to heal, to fix myself. And meanwhile I cannot belong to anyone, no matter how much I want to. Because you wouldn’t accept me with someone else’s bruises. I’d rather go insane in my hell than hope that you will pull me out of this and remind me its okay to admit how I feel.