She Was Sea

I don’t know why I continue to seek relationships that are bad for me, ones that come with expiration dates and deadlines, ones that can never give me what I want, and these are always the ones that I get most caught up on. Sometimes it isn’t even about love, it’s just the need for intimacy, a close friendship, someone you can hold onto when everything else seems bleak, but then you know the same person you’re seeking support from now will be your downfall and you won’t have anyone but you to hold onto and you will fall, hard, into a vastness of sad. Is it worth it, this pattern of self-sabotage?