Tum ne mere jism ko chaha,
Naadan thi main, yeh samjhi ke tum mohabbat karna chahte ho.
Main khwab dekhti rahi mohabbat ki,
Par haqeeqat kuch aur hi thi.
Tumhari nazar mein sirf jism tha,
Meri rooh ki tumhein qadar na thi.
Aaj samajh aayI hai mujhe,
Tumhari chahat mein khuloos na tha.
Tum ne mere jism ko chaha,
Naadan thi main, yeh samjhi ke tum mohabbat karna chahte ho.
I’ve been treating this like rehab,
Rehabilitating myself from you.
Learning to unlearn your touch,
To not be affected by your absence,
To not crave, want, miss you.
It’s been hard, the first few days,
I nearly give up, but I hang on.
The struggle is raw, the nights long,
Yet I see it clearly now,
You were always going to be damaging,
Because of how deeply I felt towards you.
I strip away each memory,
Piece by piece, like peeling old paint,
Revealing the scars beneath,
Acknowledging the hurt.
Sitting here alone, carefully collecting tears,
In tissues before they escape, avoiding mascara smears.
Oh, what a waste, this love that crumbled,
Leaving me shattered, alone and humbled.
It makes no sense, you’re barely here,
Why must I want you, when there’s nothing clear?
You give me nothing, no reason to stay,
Yet I’m so afraid you’ll slip away.
I’m scared of losing what I never possessed,
Hopes of us had me addicted, obsessed.
For a love I now see will never be,
Goodnight, beautiful one, I set you free.
It’s time to lay you to rest,
I don’t know why I tried, it’s clear we failed the test.
I knew from the start we were doomed,
But I prayed our love would bloom.
Like a fool, I waited by the door,
Hoping you’d come back once more.
I still hoped despite your distance,
You gave me crumbs, but they felt like existence.
So I say goodbye, you’ve torn me apart,
Starving the love right out of my heart.
Heartbroken in May,
All my dreams were illusions, fading away.
One day in March,
Thursday over lunch.
My heart skipped a beat,
Longing for your touch.
I must’ve been dreaming,
For it felt too surreal, this feeling.
How could I want you so quickly,
When we’d only just met, briefly?
I prayed it would fade,
Like memories unmade.
Yet here I wait, even now,
Longing for more somehow.
Help, I’m still at the restaurant,
You’re still the one I want.
In the silence, doubts persist,
“Why not ask?” they do insist.
But what if he hears and doesn’t care,
Leaving your heart in despair?
Yet in the risk lies a chance so rare,
To speak your truth, to boldly dare.
For even if his response is small,
At least you’ll know you gave your all.
“Please, I want him,” I confess,
“Why?” they ask, my heart in distress.
I have no answer, no reason true,
But my longing for you, it just ensues.
We dissect it, piece by piece,
Hoping to grant my soul some peace.
Perhaps it’s your elusive game,
That keeps me longing, that fuels the flame.
Maybe if you craved me as much as I do,
I’d lose my hunger, bid farewell to you.
For I never yearn for those who seek my heart,
It’s a game I play, right from the start.
Can you, just for a day, pretend to care?
So I may break free from this affair.
Losing you left a void, deep and wide,
One I know will never be filled, though I’ve tried.
But I understand it wasn’t meant to be,
Our love, a tale of what couldn’t be seen.
Yet, foolishly, hope still creeps in,
Reminding me of the moments we’d been.
Though it feels like a million years ago,
I assure you, I’m over you, this I know.
She Was Sea 