[From the Diaries]
At six in the morning, when you couldn’t sleep, who came to your mind?
We weren’t even fighting.
So at six in the morning, out of the “kindness” of your heart, who did you reach out to? Another woman.
The same woman you’ve been rumored to link with. The one who caused so many arguments. The one you hid in plain sight. An affair you will still never admit to, even as you make me feel stupid for questioning it.
And then this.
You still care about her.
My man does not embarrass me like this. And yet, you already have. So many times.
Chance after chance, only for you to show me exactly who you are. Not who you promise to be. Not who you swear you’re becoming. But who you are.
The lying. The deception. The humiliation.
If only you cared about me enough to pause and think about how I would feel before doing any of this.
Knowing how fragile our trust already was. Knowing that fully. And still, you chose to reach out to her.
I’m sure you reach out to others too. You just forgot to delete this one. That’s the mistake. Not the insincerity. Not the betrayal. Just the incompetence to cover your tracks this time. And you’re usually so good at that.
But here’s the thing. I see right through you. Every time. I always have.
If I chose to believe you, it wasn’t because I didn’t know better. It was because I hoped it would finally be different.
You have hurt me too much for us to continue like this. I have forgiven things that should have been unforgivable. And every time you do something new, the old wounds start bleeding again because they never healed. I just covered them up for you.
So let me go.
Let me go to someone who deserves me. Even if that person is myself.
She Was Sea 