[From the Diaries]
I want to handle this calmly. I don’t want to lose my mind over it.
Because if this really sinks into my skin, I swear my soul will collapse under it.
So please, don’t let the first thing you say be “block her.”
Instead, read the messages she sent me. Actually read them. And try to understand what they have done to me. How they’ve made me feel.
And if there is even a fragment of truth in what she’s saying, come clean with me.
You don’t even have to apologize. You’ll probably say you did nothing wrong. Maybe in your version of events, you didn’t. But I deserve the truth.
I’m not holding onto you. I’m not trapping you. I’m begging you, please don’t use me. I have always known you were never mine to keep. I was always anxious about that. I knew what I was stepping into. That part isn’t on you. It’s on me.
I love you with my whole heart. So tell me now if this will never be good for me.
I would understand you even at your worst. Lie, cheat, steal, I would still try to understand you. That’s how deeply I love you. There isn’t an ounce of hate in me for you. I promise. Even if loving you costs me everything I’ve built within myself.
But please. I am begging you. Tell me the truth.
She Was Sea 