I know I’ve made it.
Because I’m walking the same roads I once did as a broke 18-year-old—only now in heels and clothes I could never afford then. The girl I was back then could’ve never imagined coming this far. I came from nearly nothing. And it’s easy to sometimes forget that.
I get to sit in cafés and sip expensive teas because I always aspired to a better life for myself—one with or without companionship.
And even though I have everything I once wished for, somehow life feels emptier now than it ever did back then. I have fewer friends. I barely know what makes me happy anymore. Back then, if I had even half the capacity I do today, I would’ve been over the moon.
The irony is—I have everything I once wanted, but somewhere along the way, I lost everything I had then.
Would I trade it back if I could? A thousand times, yes.
Because back then, I never had a free minute without plans. My phone was always buzzing. There was always somewhere to be, someone to meet. Friends eager to spend every second with me. I never had to go anywhere alone. And I wasn’t this tired.
I had a thirst for life—sleepless nights, endless adventures, passion, desire, and curiosity that made living exciting. My melancholic soul would sometimes crave solitude, but they never let me have it. I had to be sad with them—and somehow, they’d stay. Through every mood, every silence.
Maybe I took it for granted, because I never thought there’d come a day my life would feel this quiet.
But damn it—those were the days of our lives.
She Was Sea 