She was desperately trying to hold herself together, but her heart felt like it was shattering. She didn’t know how to feel or what to think anymore. Time passed, yet nothing soothed her mind or soul. She was slipping into helplessness, edging closer to desperation. Her heart raced uncontrollably, making it impossible to stay still.
After work, she’d taken a nap, hoping it would bring some peace or at least pass the time. Her alarm woke her, reminding her of a spa appointment she’d booked earlier, unaware of how awful the day would turn out to be. It was too late to cancel, so she forced herself up and got ready. Her heart was far from calm, but there was no other option.
She hadn’t heard from him in over 12 hours. It wasn’t like him, and she couldn’t help but wonder if he was doing this on purpose. Was this his way of saying something without saying anything at all? She hadn’t cried yet, but she knew the tears would come when reality hit her.
Everything around her reminded her of him. This was her first real attachment since the breakup a year ago, the one she’d sworn would be her last. Yet here she was again, falling hard and fast for him. He’d charmed her effortlessly, said all the right things, and now his absence was tearing her apart.
The only thing holding her together was the medication. Maybe that’s why the tears hadn’t come yet.
Now, 16 hours had passed without a word from him, and she was barely holding on. She couldn’t believe it was happening. One moment he was making promises, and the next, he had disappeared. She couldn’t understand how someone she trusted with her heart could vanish like this. It was cruel, and it left her questioning everything—how she had let him in, let him become part of her life, only for him to discard her so easily.
She saw two paths ahead: one where she spiraled into self-loathing and blamed herself for everything he had done, or one where she realized it wasn’t about her at all. She had just been caught in someone else’s game. That was her misfortune, and perhaps her lesson.
She vowed never to call him again. But deep down, she knew if he reached out, she’d answer. So she prayed that he wouldn’t.
Nearly 24 hours later, she couldn’t hold it in anymore. Reality hit her like a wave. The meds wore off, and she broke down, sobbing uncontrollably. She couldn’t stop herself from dialing his number over and over. No answer. She left voicemail after voicemail, her voice choked with tears. She sent message after message. No reply.
Has she lost him?
She Was Sea 