I often think of you, fondly adoring you in my memories. You were wonderful, not in a literal sense, but you made me feel wonderful. Even through your insults, I felt a lot for you. You thought I was nuts, and you may be right. But, man, I wish I never had to lose you.
I wish you could always be my 2 am, telling me you were downstairs out of nowhere. I miss your pranks, making me cry, the reality slaps—how hard they used to hit me. I miss you. Perhaps, you were the friend I slowly fell in love with, the reason I find boy friendships intimidating because with you, I knew how pure and wonderful they were.
I’ve known you for so long, yet I don’t know you at all. You were the boy who didn’t fall in love with me. Sunrises remind me of you, our thing when this city was more innocent and we had sinned far less. Time flies; life has gone by. I’ve come to my senses, found the courage to be truly me, yet you’re nowhere around. I don’t blame you; it’s best you stay away. I don’t think straight with you; anything goes with you.
You met me at 18, and I always feel 18 with you. I wonder at what point I started feeling for you. I don’t even hate it because I loved our friendship. I’ll never have a guy friend like that again; I haven’t since. I wish we could have an adult conversation because I don’t think we ever did. I didn’t feel grown up around you. You’d always point out everything wrong with my life, and you’d be right.
I just want to tell you, it isn’t so bad. I always wished you’d have been kinder, like when I met you. I wish you didn’t grow up to become such an ass. I’ll miss that boy forever, and I’ll miss her too—who I was around you.
She Was Sea 