Today is November 19, 2023. I’ll never forget what happened on November 19, 2010. The boy of my dreams broke up with me, and I was a mess. It changed my life forever and surely altered my brain too. I was just 17 and madly and hopelessly in love. After that day, I was utterly heartbroken.
Like any 17-year-old, even though I had my whole life ahead of me, this one thing felt like it was the end of me. I didn’t go out for months. The girl who had never properly read a book buried herself in the Twilight Saga and fell in love with Edward Cullen. I also started wearing loads and loads of makeup because my self-esteem had been completely destroyed. It got so bad that for the next 7-8 years, I couldn’t step out at all without makeup. I was addicted, and I hated my face without it, just because this boy broke my heart when I was 17, and I felt it was because I was ugly.
It’s weird how I remember such specific dates and things from years back when things mattered to me, and yet I can barely remember today’s date. How things change, how life changes, and most of all, how you grow.
I just want to go back and hug my 17-year-old self from exactly 13 years ago because she was in pieces today. If I could have a conversation with her, I would tell her that she wasn’t ugly, that these things sometimes happen, and we don’t always get to be with the people we fall in love with. And not everyone you love deserves you.
She Was Sea 