“I can’t spend the rest of my life explaining myself to you, hoping that you’ll understand why I am the way I am.”

This thought was the singular force that prompted me to end the longest relationship I’d ever been in. After years of trying, I came to realize just how different we were, and how we found ourselves in such different places in life that we truly weren’t seeing eye to eye.

We began our journey as a couple, envisioning a shared future together. However, as we embarked on that journey, even though we walked the same path, we were heading towards different destinations.

He had assumed I would change in a certain way, and I had hoped he would remain the same. Our journey together did help me grow, but not to the extent he had expected.

I yearned to have more fun, dance a little more, wake up with hangovers, and spend my nights in laughter with friends. When we first met, I was just a 23-year-old girl, and by the time we reached our inevitable end, three years had passed. It felt like the prime years of my life had been spent.

He was pushing me to become more than I was willing to be. While he wasn’t wrong to demand more from me, the fact was that I needed a little more time. I wasn’t finished with having fun, and I wasn’t ready to miss out on my life. His pressure to solidify our commitment made me run away and engage in things I otherwise never would have.

Even though he loved me more than I could ever imagine anyone loving me, he couldn’t truly understand me. Every step I took with him felt like a step towards a confined love. In the end, it became clear that he wasn’t the the one for me.

And that’s when I knew that I couldn’t spend my life explaining myself to someone, hoping they would understand.

And this realization still holds true today.