I’m not fine. 

Maybe this is the process. I’m in so much pain that my only outlet is to scream murder into my pillow. Maybe it gets worse before it gets better. 

The universe keeps playing against me. It keeps reminding me and showing me things I’d rather not know and would like to forget. 

I’m messing up. I’m missing out. I am unable to show up for myself. I feel weak. 

This was anything but mutual. Maybe that’s why it’s hurting so much. This isn’t something I’d have ever chosen for myself. I did this for him because this is what he wanted. I did it anyway, even if it would break me. He needed to be free from me. 

I feel anxious. Every breath is too loud. I want to be strong; I’m trying to be. It’s taking everything from me to be strong right now; I have no other choice. 

I feel like I got stuck in unrequited love after being pulled into it. 

I’m in pieces.