I remember telling my friends within the first few weeks of meeting you, that you’re god making up for all the shitty guys he sent my way.
And months later I stand by it, and it couldn’t be more true.

You’re all my prayers answered in one. 

Somewhere between disk and mashuni, I saw a glimpse of forever with him. 

I don’t miss it, the pain, the longing, the misery. The never ending wondering where I went wrong, or how I couldn’t be enough. How I wasn’t loved when I gave all of myself.

I don’t miss it. 

But all of it comes back for a split second when you pass by. And then I’m reminded of how I once loved so deeply that despite all the wrongs, I was willing to love and hope until I was asked to not. It’s true you never asked me to stop. But silence sometimes speaks louder than words. And that’s where you left me. You left me in silence. And quietly, I left. I packed up my love and threw it away. You no longer seemed keen, and there was nothing more I could give. 

Ghosts from your past walk the same streets that you do. Surely some days get a bit tricky. But that’s alright. I’ve made up my mind and gosh, I’ve never felt better. 

Thank you for leaving me as you did. I would’ve never been able to come here without everything I was put through. 

For once, can I just be in love?

Without all the oh, don’t get attached to him, don’t trust him easily, don’t this and don’t that.

Can I just follow my heart?

So what if this breaks me again?

Would it be the first time? No, life is always going to disappoint you, one way or the other.

The girl you want, she doesn’t exist anymore. 

When you left, she buried herself in your absence.
The girl that you see today carries no compassion for your love.  
You crushed her beneath the boulders of your proclaimed love. 

The girl you want doesn’t exist anymore. 

How much can you forgive, and how much can you forget?

Because I think I’ve given so many chances to people and there doesn’t seem to be room anymore:

And it’s a fact that only your loved ones can hurt you. If you didn’t love them, they could never hurt you. Without your admiration towards them, their actions have zero value to you. 

When you start prioritizing yourself and you’re mental health, you distance from the ones who never understood you. 

If they come back, remember they once chose to stay in your past, and that’s where they best belong. 

They don’t get to explore life without you and say okay maybe you were better, you deserve so much more than indecision. 

If they weren’t brave enough to love you then, they aren’t brave enough now. 

Connections are instant, love is forever. And not just when it’s convenient. 

I say flowers are tainted. That I don’t want them. I’d gotten so many of them before now, they just remind me of dead relationships.