Jhe only person who has the power to make me feel this way.

I can no longer blame you for not seeing the love you once had for me in your eyes when all I’ve ever done is push you away. Wish I hadn’t, but that would’ve been selfish and wrong. I’m glad we ended no matter how painful it is to remember loving and losing you.

Even though it was a little late, I had to do the right thing.

We had sinned, loved, and prayed.
I yearned for love, yearned for each other, and yearned for mercy.

You were a gift of a love that was never meant to be mine. Simply intended to enjoy it while it lasted, then spend the rest of our lives repaying debts for memories we’ll never forget.

Oh how excruciating, finding love in someone else’s man.

Little did you know, each step you took away from me meant you were walking on shattered shards of my heart.

And behind you left, a girl with a broken heart. Tears streaming down her cheeks as she mourned a love that was never hers, yet somehow, her grief felt eternal.

Even though the break-up wasn’t terrible it was something I had put my all into – and I underestimated the amount of time I needed to grieve the loss of it.

What do you do when everyone you’ve ever known and loved has let you down in some way. Whom do you confide in or even seek refuge in when things get tough? Whom do you turn for comfort, when at some point this person was the reason you spiralled and cried? Would you ever feel safe with them again?

No, I don’t think so. My boundaries are solid and concrete, I might forgive but my body doesn’t forget. My boundaries are there for my safety and I don’t feel sorry for the way I shut you out for having triggered my system.

I’m doing my best to survive, and anyone who makes it harder than it should be, goes.

And that leaves me all alone. And no matter how sad that makes me, I don’t hurt myself anymore. So, I’m kinda safe with me.