I love you was a lie, so was I miss you, and I like you. Why’d you have to lie? Why were your lies so necessary when I didn’t even need them? I would’ve settled for a sweet nothing instead of this hole you’ve left me with.
You are a mistake my heart is going to take a while to recover from and not because it was that great but because of all the dreams you made me look forward to, the build-up was well strategized or poorly thought through – or you just didn’t fucking care. For your selfish needs, your pathetic ass chose to cast me away. You came into my life – and you chose to leave too. I could’ve really done without having known you because you’ve been such a fucking waste that’s given me nothing but more issues to heal from.
Give me back the smile you took from me, the one you thought was bloody gorgeous that you could never get enough off, the one you couldn’t stop raving about – the smile you stole and completely shattered. Remember how concerned you used to be about my well-being? Do you recall how you used to ask if I was happy? And that was the most important thing to you? Do you recall lying to my face like that was your greatest strength? Do you recall swindling my heart for nothing more than your ignorance in the end?
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you oh I fucking hate you.
But I don’t at all. You see, unlike you, none of it was a lie to me. My heart was literally in your hands when I begged you not to destroy it, and you fucking smashed it even when I begged you not to. What bothers me is how easy it was for you – cold and emotionless, the polar opposite of who you pretended to be at first. I’m not sure where your game began, but I’m sure I know where it ends. I was smitten by your Oscar-winning performance – a portrayal of a rather infatuated boy – and I’ll admit, the act was truly terrific. Because I immediately sank into the pit you dug just for me. How special. God, you were a fuckboy, weren’t you? You’ve wrecked my time and emotions, and you’ve taken everything you don’t need from me for no reason at all – and you’re not even a little bit sorry. Fucking narc.
Give me back my confidence. Give me back every inch of my body you took. Return my cycle to me, and return me to the person I was before I met you. Give it all, give all you took from me that wasn’t yours. Pieces of myself you never respected, valued or honoured. Give that to me, you filthy thief. Your arrogance was both embarrassing and degrading. I absolutely despise you. I fucking hate you.
It’s 4 a.m., and I’m not sure what I’m doing, but I’m definitely cursing the day I met you. And I’ll keep doing so until I’ve forgotten everything about you. Yeah, I think I’m a little annoyed with you because you left. But I’m angrier with you for loving first, which you shouldn’t have done. Because I didn’t need your goddamn love, but you made me believe you did, and I was happy, and just when I’d convinced myself you were real, you ran away like the bloody coward you were.
I wish I wasn’t so angry with you. However, I am. I’ll be here for a while. And you’ve earned every breath of it.
She Was Sea 