You gave me everything but the things you promised – from trust issues, dead flowers, after pills to haunting memories.
There should be a new word for broken because broken isn’t cutting it anymore. I feel used and stripped down to my lowest. I never learn. I never play the game, so naturally, I never win too. I’ve always hated the idea of having to play these psychological manipulative games they just feel unnatural to me, but maybe that is the only way to look out for yourself. Because when you give it to them on a silver platter, all they do is take you for granted, they don’t even value you or cherish you. You’re less than zero. All I’ve ever wanted was for someone to see me for who I really am, and still love me either way.
I know I’ll continue to wake up day after day, do what I have to do, even when I’m falling into pieces with every breath. That’s just life. But god, how I wish for this to go away now.
I know this revolves around one singular break-up, where one man who just wasn’t man enough couldn’t be bothered to look me in the eye and be honest with me. He ended up playing with the very last piece of me that lived. I bet he sleeps okay, I bet he doesn’t dread waking up. I bet the lies told don’t really haunt him. I bet he’s out there fooling someone else too. I bet he can still go on and about without his emotions pulling him apart. I bet he never meant it when he said he loved me. That’s such a hard pill to swallow, to think everything you thought and believed about a person was a complete lie, scam, fraud.
To quote Olivia, “You betrayed me, and I know that you’ll never feel sorry for the way I hurt”, yeah. Bet you’re having the last laugh, aren’t you?
This was the coldest love I’d ever known. This was also the most deceiving.
She Was Sea 