I was scared of losing him, but the truth was I was more afraid of him not loving me enough. I was so terrified he’d leave that I let him go instead summonning myself into abandonment. And even though I was the one letting him go, I still felt abandoned. Maybe the self betrayal was strong on this one.
I wanted to chase him down and even yell his name. My body, on the other hand, had only allowed me to shut the door behind him. And behind that closed door, I fell hard and alone.
Not sure if this helps, but this when I’m sad and I feel like my life is going out of whack, I listen to this song. It makes me feel ever so slightly better.
She Was Sea 
Not sure if this helps, but this when I’m sad and I feel like my life is going out of whack, I listen to this song. It makes me feel ever so slightly better.
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Link?
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Oh, the youtube one. Is it not visible to you? Maybe its not visible from the admin dashboard.
“https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jO2viLEW-1A”
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