I can’t stop spiralling I can’t stop trembling I can’t stop feeling irrelevant I can’t stop feeling unwanted I can’t stop thinking I could never be loved I can’t stop
But I also know that;
I can’t expect people to read my mind or understand the disasters of it I can’t expect people to comprehend the voices and how loud they get I can’t expect much at all unless I tell them how I truly feel
Meanwhile, I’ve got to;
I’ve got to stop crying I’ve got to fight back my demons
I need to stop expecting magical solutions to very real problems I need to start having honest conversations about real feelings, even if they are painful I need to stop wondering and start knowing I need to believe in myself and others
I just wish my heart would stop racing and my mind would stop telling me things I’m not ready to hear. I wish I could pull myself out of the spiral bring me back to solid ground and tell myself it’s only a minor setback and not the end of the world.
People can love you and still not understand every little sensation your mind transpires to your body. It’s hard and painful – but they only understand what they know and they know so little of what your mind conspires against you.
She Was Sea 