In this marathon towards boundless uncertainty, here are the few things I constantly remind myself of; it’s okay to be uncertain, it’s also okay to be scared, it’s okay to not know where your journey is headed. It’s okay to just ‘be’. Get that pressure off yourself for not reaching your goals or falling a little behind. Because life works in mysterious ways and the best we can do at times is sit back and have a little faith.
I can’t deem myself invaluable or disposal for being less than ideal by my own expectations. Expectations that are influenced by people who do not even matter. Remind yourself that this pace is for you, and there’s nothing wrong with going a little slow or taking each day at a time. The big picture isn’t always necessary, sometimes survival is more trivial.
When life deals you a hand you weren’t prepared for at all, you adjust to it, no matter how hard it seems. We have no other choice. There’s no point in fighting the odds. Not everything is in our control.
It’s very easy to spiral into the void of self-loathing and hopelessness even with the mildest inconvenience, that’s because the fight has been never-ending and exhausting. But view every fight objectively, and know it’s a different fight each time. That’s life. If you’re tired, rest. But don’t stop.
I can’t help but spiral into devastation and shift blame towards me for everything that goes wrong. That’s also because we are fed that we make our own lives and we feel responsible for our failures and shortcomings. But sometimes, things are a bit out of our hands and we shouldn’t feel less for the incapability or the lack of control.
I am so terrified of change. Change that has forced me out of my comfort zone and all the things I am used to. It’s been incredibly hard to come to terms with, let alone convince myself that it’s okay. But that also does not mean I am less. It just means this is what life has dealt for me for now, and I’ll play this hand the best I can.
Several factors help us stay afloat, including the company we keep and the support that we incur. Often we do not have enough people rooting for us genuinely. A little support, a little push here and there is all we need. And that’s what’s lacking for me. So I have to become my support, the voice in my head that tells me to not give up. Because we know, we are all we have. We are all that matters, we are only as important as we make ourselves to be. No one is going to treat us better than we treat our selves.
The only way to get to your certainty, the big picture and all the answers is to keep going. And right now, that’s all I can do. And that’s what I will do. No matter how hard it gets, that I must.
She Was Sea 