She Was Sea

I’m wired to my independence. I’m wired to making the right choices despite constraints, and that’s the only way I know how great a deal this person means for me. Instead of letting me make my choices, having to mould into their idea of perfection would only confuse me. For me, I don’t do well in boxes. It’s not the cutting people off precisely but the whole idea of being restricted. I do better in freedom. I believe in freedom instead of labels. Letting them roam, and hoping they find their way back to you, over and over, every day, forever. That is my idea of love. And if they lose their way, they won’t be the person for me. But the whole idea of suffocating the other person to choose you, won’t sit with me. I have been there, I won’t be there again. Maybe my flawed idea of love is evolving into even a more liberal version.

And for some this may seem like my un-willfulness to compromise, I think it is that I’ve refused to put myself in a box. I need more faith and trust from the person I decide to give my all to.

Did I just give up on something that could’ve made me happy?

I lost myself in my past relationship, I won’t lose myself again.