As my mother and I sit, end to end as far away as possible from each other, without even a word, I wondered how we got here. Every patient surrounded by their families, all engaging in conversation, everyone so normal. Yet here we both are. Comfortable in dead silence. We are not angry at each other, we just don’t have much to say. It is sad. But you shape your children, and this is how my mother shaped me. Months of prolonged silent treatment that lead to anxiety and insecurity from as young as I can remember – had ruined our relationship beyond repair. I’m certain she has no clue this is the elephant in the room, or if she even wonders, or realizes that we are the least functional in this room. Or maybe it’s only me, again with my overthinking, sparing too much on a thought I could just let be and ignore.
Parents are funny, they put themselves on their high pedestals vowing they can never do wrong. They come from a place of such privilege, for bringing life into this world. We owe them our life for doing the bare minimum. But then I also understand the cycle of violence. It wasn’t her fault, but it wasn’t mine either. Yet I desperately need to project my anger somewhere. I don’t know how I can forgive, or even forget, or ever be okay with the life I was presented. I’ll always be angry. Because as a young child I don’t think I deserved any of it, and as a problematic adult I’ve finally begun to understand the root causes of all my problems. And I just don’t know how else to be.
What has happened cannot be undone! Neither it was your fault nor your mother’s. What went wrong was the circumstances and the people who took advantage of it. I think it is the right time for you to vow to yourself to be the best mother for your future children and its time for you to let go off the pain and anger you are holding on for a long time. From where I can see, you have achieved a wonderful career path and I am so proud of you already. Within these days I might open Hoteliers Magazine to read a magazine about your talent and that day is not so far if you dont fall apart and never stop shining!
PS you have the best smile in the world ♥️
this hit me hard! I have kind a same relationship with my mom and dad! but they both love me, so do I. but whatever it is, something wasn’t right from the very first day.. we don’t talk much! don’t have that relationship a kid and mother or dad should have! we are not close! we don’t share anything as we don’t talk much! I was like this and will be like this forever! I can never change as I never had that in my life! I miss them but still we don’t see each other nor do we talk!
She Was Sea 
What has happened cannot be undone! Neither it was your fault nor your mother’s. What went wrong was the circumstances and the people who took advantage of it. I think it is the right time for you to vow to yourself to be the best mother for your future children and its time for you to let go off the pain and anger you are holding on for a long time. From where I can see, you have achieved a wonderful career path and I am so proud of you already. Within these days I might open Hoteliers Magazine to read a magazine about your talent and that day is not so far if you dont fall apart and never stop shining!
PS you have the best smile in the world ♥️
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That’s incredibly kind but I think I’ve decided to never have my own children. Thank you for the support! Xx ❤️
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this hit me hard! I have kind a same relationship with my mom and dad! but they both love me, so do I. but whatever it is, something wasn’t right from the very first day.. we don’t talk much! don’t have that relationship a kid and mother or dad should have! we are not close! we don’t share anything as we don’t talk much! I was like this and will be like this forever! I can never change as I never had that in my life! I miss them but still we don’t see each other nor do we talk!
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❤️
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