Spoiler: I DO

Walking away has definitely been the hardest thing I’ve done as an adult. This was a first in many ways, and way too complicated than most. I was however, accused of just complicating it inside my head. But what else would I do, overthinking every possibility is my birthright.

He was the shadow blocking my light, and without his darkness I no longer knew where I stood or the time of day.

I ended up questioning if I existed beyond his existence.

I loved a love I couldn’t admit to.

What is love anyway? I remember being 17 and not understanding how easily and how deeply I fell in love, every-time. Only now, love is the perfect repellant. This is one fleeting illusion I’m not holding onto.

Is it really back to this? Sleepless 3 ams. Listening to Slash go “I’ve been saving these last words for one last miracle, but now I’m not sure?”.

Does it ever really stop?.

We can’t complain about feeling lonely when it’s our fault we don’t pick up calls, or reply to texts, or tell people we love that we are busy just to avoid seeing them. It’s just on some days, any human contact feels like moving mountains. I’ll just have to wait for these mountains to move because I’m too tired to move them today.