She Was Sea

I’m only ashamed for the parts of my life my mother refused to listen, not because she didn’t want to, but because she couldn’t

I can’t hate her for the strength she didn’t have to hear how a daughter was ruined in her watch, while she was too busy tending for the parts my father never could

I can’t blame her for not being the mother I always wanted, when she had to fill in for the father that was hardly around

I’m mad at her for things she won’t even remember, but how could I be? When she was more than the mother I could’ve wished for, but also, so little of the mother I needed in many times