I can’t sleep in my bed anymore, the sheets smell of you.

Is it true, am I nothing more than a muse?

A stopover right before you head home to your rightful one.

Had I let you hug me a little longer I’d have broken down and I couldn’t allow my tears to fall on you. So careful in blinking away tears keeping my head down ‘cuz had I looked up you’d see my eyes were filling in and I couldn’t let you see me in tears now could I?

To feel like trash in a world I’ve just begun to feel beautiful.

It’s okay.

I wish I could explain my troubles to you.

But how do I explain something I don’t understand myself.

Fall in love with this complexity of mine and lose your mind.

You did nothing wrong.

I craved, I caved.

I wish I could be there for you, help you, even try to fix you if that is possible. I would. I really would have done anything for you.

Always in the wrong arms when I wanna pour my heart out, always in the wrong arms when I wanna be held a little more.

Why don’t somethings go away, vanish entirely. I’ve made peace with the tragedy and yet waves keep crashing me back.

I don’t know how to feel any less and I’m afraid to feel any more. Would you help me figure out what could be. Your shoulders don’t deserve my tears as you aren’t responsible for those.

I’m trying to heal, to fix myself. And meanwhile I cannot belong to anyone, no matter how much I want to. Because you wouldn’t accept me with someone else’s bruises. I’d rather go insane in my hell than hope that you will pull me out of this and remind me its okay to admit how I feel.