She Was Sea

It’s not a never ending circle. The circle stops somewhere. Loving someone who doesn’t love you back..

These days, I can’t find the words anymore. All I know is I’m tired. Scared too. I feel stuck. The independent and strong person I was, I am no more.

I know you loved me. And I also know I hurt you. And I thought you forgave me. But today I know you really didn’t. And even though you made me believe you loved me the same, despite how undeserving of it I was, it’s not the same. I’m a fool to have thought it would be too. Here’s the thing. I tried. And I know that’s not how it should be. You shouldn’t be trying. It should be there.

I value myself, even if I’ve lost my worth I value me, or at least what’s left of it. And I can’t continue this feeling like what you’ve made me feel. It’s selfish alright, as I fail to understand how you chose to be with me and still see me as the girl who betrayed you. You know you deserve better. I do too. What I’ve done, it’s all on me. What’s happened to me, that’s all on me too. And I should be able to take care of myself. I don’t need you to be there, pretending to care about me when you really don’t. I should be able to do this, for myself.

I refuse to be your compromise.