We are all told to say no. No to the things we don’t want, and no to the people we don’t want. Basically NO is the code word that is SUPPOSED TO prevent you from being a part of anything you don’t want to be a part of. People make it sound like saying No will make it clear enough. Let me tell you something. It won’t. Not unless the monsters we know learn to listen to us and respect our boundaries.
I have said NO a couple of times. And I was ignored every time. I am a pushover by nature. Although the first time I said the word NO out loud to a person who was trying to get his hands on me was only recently. The other times I remember pushing them and running away only to find them coming after me and trapping me with nowhere to go. The pushing and running away was my no, was I not clear enough? was I not loud enough? Would he have stopped if I had screamed?
A question I’ve heard being asked too often to girls who’ve been in these situations is, ‘why didn’t you scream? did you like it? is that why you didn’t scream?’
Honestly, even I don’t have the answer. But what I know is, there are more important questions to be asked than why the fucking hell didn’t you scream for help. For instance, are you okay? How are you? And what kinda sick person thinks they didn’t scream out loud for help because they secretly enjoyed it? I mean guys they know the feeling they get when they’ve been jailed or mobbed, right. I mean because people apparently understand those situations more than these. Yeah, they are helpless, in that moment her whole world crashes down, stumbling, in slow motion. And they never recover from that, and they will never be able to tell another person how they felt in that exact moment because, nobody, nobody will understand. Not even herself.
Anyways, my recent occurrence. He was someone I’ve liked for the longest time. He was decent, well-educated. Had a good job. And we’ve hung out a couple of times and I was sure he was one of the nice guys. So so sure. But damn was I wrong. I’ve come up with this new theory where you know, if you really wanna know what a person is like tell them NO when they most need a yes. And see if he’s understanding about it or a monster about it. See, I told him no. Told him I wasn’t feeling well. He was probably deaf ‘cuz he came on to me more vigorously than ever and almost suffocated me. I was so disgusted but hey this is someone I’ve approved. This is someone whom I thought was nice enough and could be trusted. So it’s my fault right?
He was a selfish, heartless and evil fucking monster behind all that politeness.
She Was Sea 