April 24, 2016
I befriended him, I don’t know why. I don’t know why I don’t hate him as much as I should. Or as much as anyone else would if they were me. This is another story that has drastically changed my life and changed me on its course. Or one of the things that lead me to lose myself even more than I already had.
I was fifteen and it was September 26th, 2008. I specifically remember the date since was right before a friend’s birthday. I had just joined mig33, wasn’t aware at all about the community. Since it was trending and I enjoyed getting to know people I just went ahead with it, plus it killed time. And it was an escape from everything else and I never had the chance to realize how critical it was. Telling someone you don’t know or might never know about yourself, there was something risky and dangerous about it and it was the kinda shit I dug. I was of course very very stupid.
About a week back, I got a call from a complete stranger, he said his name was Sina or something. I asked him how he’d gotten my number and he started being all cheesy about it, saying he’d tell me all in time. After some time he called me up again and asked me to meet up, in today’s world no one, even the stupidest one wouldn’t just meet up with a stranger. But I did, again I don’t know why. He was on a Harley Davidson. I was like whoa. Short and dark with long long hair and not good-looking at all. And looked so much older than I. After I sat on the back and he drove away. Introducing himself meanwhile. He told me why he wanted to meet up, I was so fucking relieved that he’d come clean. He told me I had messed with one of his id’s on mig33, and I didn’t remember ever messing with anyone but he was so sure and accused me of it. And apparently he wanted to get back at me for that by you know doing the worst thing you could ever do to a girl, but after seeing how casual and friendly I was he said he’d changed his mind. And all this in the first twenty minutes after I’d met him for the first time ever and still under his control. I was shocked and scared fuck thinking what the hell have I gotten myself into.
I was fifteen and it was September 26th, 2008. I specifically remember the date since was right before a friend’s birthday. I had just joined mig33, wasn’t aware at all about the community. Since it was trending and I enjoyed getting to know people I just went ahead with it, plus it killed time. And it was an escape from everything else and I never had the chance to realize how critical it was. Telling someone you don’t know or might never know about yourself, there was something risky and dangerous about it and it was the kinda shit I dug. I was of course very very stupid.
About a week back, I got a call from a complete stranger, he said his name was Sina or something. I asked him how he’d gotten my number and he started being all cheesy about it, saying he’d tell me all in time. After some time he called me up again and asked me to meet up, in today’s world no one, even the stupidest one wouldn’t just meet up with a stranger. But I did, again I don’t know why. He was on a Harley Davidson. I was like whoa. Short and dark with long long hair and not good-looking at all. And looked so much older than I. After I sat on the back and he drove away. Introducing himself meanwhile. He told me why he wanted to meet up, I was so fucking relieved that he’d come clean. He told me I had messed with one of his id’s on mig33, and I didn’t remember ever messing with anyone but he was so sure and accused me of it. And apparently he wanted to get back at me for that by you know doing the worst thing you could ever do to a girl, but after seeing how casual and friendly I was he said he’d changed his mind. And all this in the first twenty minutes after I’d met him for the first time ever and still under his control. I was shocked and scared fuck thinking what the hell have I gotten myself into.
To be continued.. if I ever find it in me to continue.
ng sucks and you’re just too too depressed to go on you set all your hopes on this one little thing, just so that you don’t give up. Doesn’t matter what it is, sometimes it’s a pair of beautiful shoes or sometimes it’s a good book. And sometimes it’s a good song. For me my little piece of happiness had become this Polaroid camera my friends had gifted me as a birthday present. I asked them to not celebrate my birthday as it would remind me of a certain someone even more than I already do, but they did anyway. A little delayed though and certainly unexpected and yes it did make me happy. ‘Cause it’s them, my happy beans. Anyways the camera was black and I preferred white. We tried to make it work but there was an issue with it so had to give it back, and I asked my friend to ask them if they would change it for a white one and she forgot, and later I went with my friends to ask if they could. Bitches said they couldn’t, did they know that this would make my day or my whole fucking year if I could have a white one of the same model? But they don’t fucking care ’cause why should they. Why would they think a 22 year olds life depends on this little piece of plastic. But it did. I almost cried when they said they wouldn’t be able to change it. I love white! I thought my friends knew that and I was a wee bit disappointed that they didn’t. It’s just almost like the time when my mother returned from hajj she brought this beautiful diamond ring for my brothers girlfriend and for me it was a one with flowers. Why did my mother not know I wouldn’t wear something like that? Why didn’t she know? I preferred the other ring much more and I definitely didn’t want to cry about it but it made me so sad I kinda burst into tears unwillingly in front of my mom. I’d never forget that day, she must’ve thought I was such a baby. The ring wasn’t the issue. The issue was she not knowing what I would’ve preferred. The issue was my mother didn’t know me at all. Back to the camera, so yeah I almost cried because I would’ve loved a white. And then I kinda died inside for a few minutes, but then I thought they went through the whole effort to give this to me. I can’t not appreciate that, I put on my happy face for real and we tried to test it. Bitch failed. I don’t know why, we tried for like forty-five mins. And there was even a little scratch on the lens but now I can’t take it back ‘cuz they’d think I did it on purpose to get a white one. I know how those mind sets would work. So I ignored it and convinced myself I was fine with it as long as it worked. I hope it works, I’ll probably try later tonight. And if it doesn’t I’m probably gonna smash it to the wall, but I can’t that would hurt my friends. I might as well keep it as a souvenir.
She Was Sea 