This is an old screenshot for me to have but I still do, I’m in no rush to delete all the evidence of us dating. This was one of those rare moments where he told me he loved me, and I instantly screenshot ‘cuz this in fact was the first time in weeks he’d said such. It lit up my world, but now that it’s over this brings back a warm memory. Why couldn’t he live up to these words, why couldn’t he fight for me like I fought for him. Or was I too hasty in giving up? Was I wrong to end things? I had my doubts. Still do at certain times of the day. But then he blocked me on IG today. Unfriended me on Facebook a couple of days back, unfollowed me and finally blocked me on Instagram. And how do I know these things? Because I check, duh. It was so hard for me to find his handle once he’d blocked me, cuz the useless piece of shit hadn’t commented many of my pictures. Not even the stupid video I complied with pictures of us for our third phase. People are right to judge, whoever observed us wouldn’t find it hard coming to the conclusion I was the only one going nuts over him while he lived a life that barely existed me. I was fine, just gloomy that he’s acting out. Why should he? He’s walked out on me a million times leaving me in pieces and never has he acknowledged or cared for my feelings. So why the fuck am I feeling so bad? Do I still have feelings for him? Yes I fucking do! Do I want him back? Hell no? The world is already shitty, don’t need another person to make it worse. I’m usually the one blocking and removing him cuz I can’t stand to watch him so fucking fine without me. I’m not fine without him either but you’ve got to stay strong. Relationships end, people die. It’s not the end of the world. I tried. I gave it my best, I gave it my all. It’ wasn’t enough. I failed. Doesn’t mean I stopped loving him, it just didn’t work. I needed attention and he had no time for me. It’s as simple as that. Now people can go on and tell me he never really loved me or he was just screwing me, I don’t care. It was love for me. Up until the point it ended. I was in love.