April 15, 2015
Vacation is over and I’m bored, even though I’m glad to be back starting fresh. Been sick of the routine for a while and things are kind of complex for now with a major career move on my hands and still not sure what to do about it. I sure as hell want it but in my own time. Need to be careful to not take too much time with these things though. Opportunities don’t wait. It requires timing and while I’m fond of procrastinating now is not the time. I hope I’m able to do this.With too much free time on my hands and with a proper sleeping a pattern after ages I just don’t know what to do. I’m careful to not eat too much since I’ve made a habit out of eating chocolates and what not every time I’m bored. I’m finding myself reading more than catching up on TV shows, I’ve never been the kind to watch stuff, it doesn’t take long for me to be distracted if I’m watching something. I’ll be on my phone after twenty or something minutes. I prefer books with a smoke, and I have to do that in the bathroom. ‘Cause I can’t smoke in my room. And then I have to spray so much after to make sure it doesn’t smell like smoke. I wonder what my mom would say when she actually finds out I smoke and am not willing to stop, I don’t want her to find out but she eventually will. But then I’m an adult now and she might know better than to not ask me to stop. We keep getting into arguments every now and then, she keeps asking me to get married and I sure as hell wanna although I keep telling her I’m never going to so she better forget about it. Must be hard for a mother.It’s funny that I thought things would get easier as I grow, somethings have. But then there’s the whole question of your future and choosing between cats and men. Cats always btw, I might be scared fuck of tigers but I love kittens. They are adorable and I’d love to have one if only my mum wasn’t so scared of them.Been back at work only two days and I’ve already redone the wall, bought new books. And a couple of comfy socks to keep me warm since I’ll be spending most of my time on bed from now. After duty that is. Life is so chill,and lonely, and sad, but really good. That won’t make sense to many.
She Was Sea 