November 25, 2015

 Isn’t it funny how when you start talking to a complete stranger there’s all this excitement and enticement. And then once you know them a little better you’re scared to get any closer ‘cuz you’re afraid you’ll end up liking them too much or not liking them at all. Like there’s nothing right to do at this moment? You gotta risk something. And you’re of course curious to fucking know more. So you put yourself ahead a few steps, just enough to see them a little closer, and your heart sinks a little when you see nothing you hate, but everything you like. And now you’re thinking you should put it all behind and walk away because let’s admit it, he’s gorgeous and so so sweet and so kind. And you’re a sucker for these qualities. And you’re already playing out in your head how you get so attached to him and he leaves you behind at one point. You know you wont like it, so to eliminate all the possibilities of that happening you distant yourself. And then they question you, what happened? did i do something wrong? if so I’m so sorry? and you go like no no sweety it’s not you it’s just me I just couldn’t afford myself to get to know you any better and they tell you it doesn’t make sense. Because not everyone knows how scary it is to let someone new into your life and to watch them walk away with bits and pieces of your stories. You might know how it feels to be left with nothing but memories to cry on, but they won’t. And for some it isn’t even a big deal. So what, you chit chat a little and forget about it in a week.