I’m so glad none of my room mates are here tonight. I wouldn’t be able to cry my heart out if they were. I’m not the kinda girl who usually does this, but lately at the slightest bit of hurt I just break down. It’s like there’s always too much. Am I expecting too much? Don’t I deserve that much? Am I too much? Am I loving you all wrong?

I don’t blame you. Not at all. I blame me, for being so stubborn and stupid. Knowing how you were like and what you’d be like I still wanted you. I cared little about me. The last time I was back home I remember spending hours crying alone too. I don’t think you knew. I was hurt to the core. Mad, tired and you’re the one who gets to give up on me and just like that? Nothing discussed? The last time I hinted a break you were all ‘this is what distanced us last time and this is why we broke up if you do this again I might leave you for good.’ I stayed. I tolerated things even when they were difficult. I’m done expecting. I’m done trying to be good enough for you. I’m done limiting myself for you. I’m tired. I’m really tired of trying to chase you. Somehow you always manage to leave me behind. I can’t keep doing this. It really hurts. And when everything else is shit I can’t be your broken doll.