She Was Sea

 There’s no denying I’m completely at loss without you. Life is good and work is well but without you everything’s a hundred times more meaningless. No matter what I did there’s this pit of emptiness, no matter how I tried I always end up here. 
So I cooked today, which is a huge deal ‘cause I never even go near the stove at all. And it turned out alright and all I could think was why, why isn’t he here. He should be, if there’s anyone I wanna share moments or days like this it’s you. I’m sorry everything went to shit. But even after being away I’m still all over the place without you, I vent to the wrong people the wrong things. You were my best Friend so at first I was so lost as to why I was feeling so lonely even when I had the most amazing people surrounding me except you. You were my anchor, you held me and guided me no matter what went wrong. You tolerated me. And you knew too much of me it’s impossible to even expect anyone else to ever know me like you did. We grew a little more together. And I know I’m supposed to start over, because it gets so lonely. But how do I when I’m too ashamed of myself, even with all my shit you found good in me. Nobody else would. I miss you. I will always miss you. Im tired of being strong. Tired of being okay with something that has ruined me.